You think English is easy???
Read to the end . . a new twist
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row ...
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong towing the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fang, grocers don't grocer and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese.. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why when the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP'
It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work Upon appetite, and think UP excuses.. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special..
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time , but if you don't give UP ,you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP ...
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so........it is time to shut UP !
Oh . . . one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Mexico Under Siege?
My friend and journalist colleague Paul Rockower offers a different perspective on Mexico...
http://tinyurl.com/ybv6acz
http://tinyurl.com/ybv6acz
Sunday, April 11, 2010
A Look at Languages
“And the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.
Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.” Genesis 11.6-7 (The Tower of Babel)
Perhaps one of the best parts of being a global nomad is the opportunity to come in contact with a multitude of different languages. In my studies and travels, I have managed to learn four languages, of which I am able to speak in varying degrees. Beyond English, I am able to converse in Spanish, Hebrew, Arabic and Czech, as well as a smattering of words and vulgarities in a variety of tongues.
Yet, I wouldn’t consider myself gifted in the art of linguistics; what has made me a good linguist is the lack of fear of making a fool of myself when trying to learn a new language. If I received a cent for each time I utterly made a fool of myself while trying to speak another language, I could easily afford to travel around the world many times over.
Recently, I was in Rosario, and met a group of Israelis who spoke no Spanish. Since I spoke Spanish and Hebrew, they decided I would be the perfect translator for all the girls they wanted to pick up, who spoke only Spanish (Castellano, excuse me). I spent the evening trying to translate from Hebrew to Spanish, and vice-versa. Needless to say, it all became a mess. Amid my linguistic confusion, I ended up speaking Hebrew to the Argentines and Spanish to the Israelis.
As I have learned more languages, I have come to appreciate that letters have far different uses in different languages. Over time, I have come to value the funny idiosyncrasies that letters can possess. While a “Y” in Argentine Spanish might sound like a “J,” in Czech, a “J” is pronounced like a “Y.” Meanwhile, the letter “X” varies from a “sh” sound in Chinese, to tongue click in Southern Africa when written “X!” The “R” gets trilled in Arabic and Spanish, rolled into a “gh” in French or practically swallowed in Hebrew; or there is the Czech version of an “Ř,” which is pronounced with a tongue roll- like the “ers” of Persian. A “C” that is lisped in Spain, takes on new form as it is pronounced as a “ts” in the Czech Republic. And then there is the fun of the guttural utterances that punctuate Hebrew and Arabic; nothing is more fun than sounding like you are about to hack up a lung while trying to make yourself understood.
The world of linguistic differences has literally left me lost. There are letters that are simply not pronounced, such as “Q” in Egypt. When I was in Cairo, and invariable lost while searching for the street “Qaseer al-Qainey,” people directed me every which way, even when in reality I was standing directly on “Aseer al-Ainey.”
Meanwhile, tonal Asian languages pose even more problems. Once I found myself waiting at a bus stop, outside of the city of Datong, a place about 6 hours east of Beijing. I was trying to catch a bus back into the city, and as one began to approach, I pointed to it and asked the man next to me “Datong?” He gave me a puzzled look that signified he didn’t understand. I tried a second time, “Dah-tong.” Still nothing. I tried a third and fourth time, with different tones, “Dah-TONG,” and “DAH-tong,” but was met with the same blank glare. Finally, in what sounded to me like the most exaggerated Chinese accent I could come up with, I pointed to the bus and asked, “DAAAAHHHH-TONGGGG?” “Oh, DAAAHHHH-TONGGG,” he said as he nodded his head in agreement. He then smiled and replied, “Why didn’t you say so?”
I won’t even broach the subject of the various nods, head-bobbles and hand signs that signify vastly different and often opposite things in different cultures.
Yet, what I have found to be a universal truth is that people deeply appreciate even the feeblest attempts at trying to speak their respective languages. In at least attempting, you are demonstrating your respect for their language, culture and heritage. While poorly accented words or outright mistakes might be greeted with a few chuckles, in reality it helps demonstrate the shared humanity that we all possess.
Paul Rockower is a journalist, who has had a series for the Jerusalem Post, entitled “Tales of a Wandering Jew.” The series chronicled his travels from Beijing to Cairo, and his interactions with the Jewish communities he encountered. He has been a teacher at Small World Language Services. You can read about all his misadventures on his blog: http://levantine18.blogspot.com and see the pictures at:
http://picasaweb.google.com/levantine18
Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.” Genesis 11.6-7 (The Tower of Babel)
Perhaps one of the best parts of being a global nomad is the opportunity to come in contact with a multitude of different languages. In my studies and travels, I have managed to learn four languages, of which I am able to speak in varying degrees. Beyond English, I am able to converse in Spanish, Hebrew, Arabic and Czech, as well as a smattering of words and vulgarities in a variety of tongues.
Yet, I wouldn’t consider myself gifted in the art of linguistics; what has made me a good linguist is the lack of fear of making a fool of myself when trying to learn a new language. If I received a cent for each time I utterly made a fool of myself while trying to speak another language, I could easily afford to travel around the world many times over.
Recently, I was in Rosario, and met a group of Israelis who spoke no Spanish. Since I spoke Spanish and Hebrew, they decided I would be the perfect translator for all the girls they wanted to pick up, who spoke only Spanish (Castellano, excuse me). I spent the evening trying to translate from Hebrew to Spanish, and vice-versa. Needless to say, it all became a mess. Amid my linguistic confusion, I ended up speaking Hebrew to the Argentines and Spanish to the Israelis.
As I have learned more languages, I have come to appreciate that letters have far different uses in different languages. Over time, I have come to value the funny idiosyncrasies that letters can possess. While a “Y” in Argentine Spanish might sound like a “J,” in Czech, a “J” is pronounced like a “Y.” Meanwhile, the letter “X” varies from a “sh” sound in Chinese, to tongue click in Southern Africa when written “X!” The “R” gets trilled in Arabic and Spanish, rolled into a “gh” in French or practically swallowed in Hebrew; or there is the Czech version of an “Ř,” which is pronounced with a tongue roll- like the “ers” of Persian. A “C” that is lisped in Spain, takes on new form as it is pronounced as a “ts” in the Czech Republic. And then there is the fun of the guttural utterances that punctuate Hebrew and Arabic; nothing is more fun than sounding like you are about to hack up a lung while trying to make yourself understood.
The world of linguistic differences has literally left me lost. There are letters that are simply not pronounced, such as “Q” in Egypt. When I was in Cairo, and invariable lost while searching for the street “Qaseer al-Qainey,” people directed me every which way, even when in reality I was standing directly on “Aseer al-Ainey.”
Meanwhile, tonal Asian languages pose even more problems. Once I found myself waiting at a bus stop, outside of the city of Datong, a place about 6 hours east of Beijing. I was trying to catch a bus back into the city, and as one began to approach, I pointed to it and asked the man next to me “Datong?” He gave me a puzzled look that signified he didn’t understand. I tried a second time, “Dah-tong.” Still nothing. I tried a third and fourth time, with different tones, “Dah-TONG,” and “DAH-tong,” but was met with the same blank glare. Finally, in what sounded to me like the most exaggerated Chinese accent I could come up with, I pointed to the bus and asked, “DAAAAHHHH-TONGGGG?” “Oh, DAAAHHHH-TONGGG,” he said as he nodded his head in agreement. He then smiled and replied, “Why didn’t you say so?”
I won’t even broach the subject of the various nods, head-bobbles and hand signs that signify vastly different and often opposite things in different cultures.
Yet, what I have found to be a universal truth is that people deeply appreciate even the feeblest attempts at trying to speak their respective languages. In at least attempting, you are demonstrating your respect for their language, culture and heritage. While poorly accented words or outright mistakes might be greeted with a few chuckles, in reality it helps demonstrate the shared humanity that we all possess.
Paul Rockower is a journalist, who has had a series for the Jerusalem Post, entitled “Tales of a Wandering Jew.” The series chronicled his travels from Beijing to Cairo, and his interactions with the Jewish communities he encountered. He has been a teacher at Small World Language Services. You can read about all his misadventures on his blog: http://levantine18.blogspot.com and see the pictures at:
http://picasaweb.google.com/levantine18
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Write Right
As the owner/CEO of one of the world’s leading Corporate Communications and Translation & Localization firms, Small World Language Services, I often see e-mails in English that make me think, “Uh-oh. This person is in trouble!” I often wonder if they realize how their writing abilities portray them as a business professional and expose their corporate and personal images openly to others.
Typos and words that are similar from one language to another are what we call “false friends”. They appear to be one thing in one language, but they have other connotation in a foreign language.
I will use a real example from one of my clients, when I asked about a payment that hadn’t been paid, and this is the reply I received from my client:
Dear Kim,
I am sorry for the incontinence you had. I am in Italy and just got your message and took care of it right away. For some reason your invoice did not reach the accounting, so I have made sure you will be paid.
Best regards,
If you don’t know what “incontinence” means, I’ll tell you now. It means the inability to retain your own body liquids – a condition that is frequent among elderly people, but certainly not people my age (I’m in my early 40s now).
When you write in a language that is not your own native tongue, you tend to rely on your own abilities to do it well. But let’s face it – we are prone to make mistakes, especially since we may not realize we’re making those mistakes. It’s alright to make those mistakes while with friends and family, but it’s not OK to make them in business.
And since English is the language we currently use in business throughout the world, your writing skills are constantly put to the test. Make sure you proofread/review your written text and if you can, have it read by a native of the language you’re writing in. As a minimum, run the spellchecker in that language. You may be surprised how many mistakes you’ve made.
Until your writing skills get up to par, rely on a good native speaker to help you out. There are professionals who can provide you with professional services like e-mail writing and revision, document creation and translation, with the aim of helping you communicate better. It’s time to write right!
Kimberlee Thorne-Waintraub is an experienced translator, proofreader, content writer and project manager from the USA.
Typos and words that are similar from one language to another are what we call “false friends”. They appear to be one thing in one language, but they have other connotation in a foreign language.
I will use a real example from one of my clients, when I asked about a payment that hadn’t been paid, and this is the reply I received from my client:
Dear Kim,
I am sorry for the incontinence you had. I am in Italy and just got your message and took care of it right away. For some reason your invoice did not reach the accounting, so I have made sure you will be paid.
Best regards,
If you don’t know what “incontinence” means, I’ll tell you now. It means the inability to retain your own body liquids – a condition that is frequent among elderly people, but certainly not people my age (I’m in my early 40s now).
When you write in a language that is not your own native tongue, you tend to rely on your own abilities to do it well. But let’s face it – we are prone to make mistakes, especially since we may not realize we’re making those mistakes. It’s alright to make those mistakes while with friends and family, but it’s not OK to make them in business.
And since English is the language we currently use in business throughout the world, your writing skills are constantly put to the test. Make sure you proofread/review your written text and if you can, have it read by a native of the language you’re writing in. As a minimum, run the spellchecker in that language. You may be surprised how many mistakes you’ve made.
Until your writing skills get up to par, rely on a good native speaker to help you out. There are professionals who can provide you with professional services like e-mail writing and revision, document creation and translation, with the aim of helping you communicate better. It’s time to write right!
Kimberlee Thorne-Waintraub is an experienced translator, proofreader, content writer and project manager from the USA.
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